someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
