Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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