I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
