I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
