trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
