just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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