So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
