So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
