I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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