So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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