I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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