I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
