maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
