Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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