I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
