I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is classic penis vs brain.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
