Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The Olympian is in my bed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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