haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why do cheetos always look like penises
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
