dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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