I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
