Capitaan dildo arrescate!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
