Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
