but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
