we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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