it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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