Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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