Need sex. Gaining weight.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
