She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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