Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
