i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
