how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
