I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
