when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
