I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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