I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
