Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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