Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
