and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
