three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
