Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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