i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Randomize
