How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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