Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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