Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
