She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
