Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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