i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
