let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
