You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
