Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
