I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
