Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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